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Music Festival Releases A List Of Wildly Unimpressive Perks In Order To Try And Sell A $1 Million Ticket

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Source –  Check down the back of the sofa, beg your parents for a little pocket money, maybe even take up a part-time job — you’re going to need all the spare cash you can muster. That’s because Secret Solstice festival in Iceland have just announced they will be selling a ticket for a whopping $1million (£717,155).

The world’s most expensive festival ticket comes with a number of incredible perks (you’d hope so) including your own private chef, a ‘private glam squad’ and private helicopter tours over the volcanoes in the south of the country.

If you’ve not quite got the cash for the $1m ticket, you could opt for the much-more-reasonable Package Of The Gods for $14,800 (£10,613) or the Oðinn for just $1,865 (£1,337).

Artists appearing at the fest include Slayer, Stormzy and Clean Bandit.

Check out everything you will get below:

Okay, before we get into the list of things you get for the million dollars let me just say this, I hope this concert sucks. I want it to have technical problems, I want artists not to show up, I want every single person attending this festival to have a miserable time. ESPECIALLY the person who decides to buy the million-dollar ticket. And believe me, someone will buy it. If we’ve learned one thing from Fyre Festival, it’s that there’s no shortage of people willing to spend an ungodly amounts of money on concerts advertising a ‘deluxe experience.’ Promising things like ‘hyper premium cocktails’ and a ‘sensory dining experience by candlelight inside a cave.’ and you come running. Don’t get me wrong, some of the stuff they offer is cool but the vast majority of it sounds like it was written by the same dude who put together the Fyre Festival. It’s all so vague.

* Luxury accommodation for the Secret Solstice 2018 festival week * Welcome Villa party with unlimited champagne and Icelandic delicacies prepared by a private chef * Party with an international music artist * 24/7 access to two deluxe cars, personal drivers, and private escort for the entire week in Iceland * Daily relaxation massages for you and your guests * Lavish Icelandic gift hamper on arrival on-site at Secret Solstice 2018 * All food and drinks served at Secret Solstice, including hyper-premium drinks and bespoke exquisite cocktails * All you can eat Icelandic hot dogs * Journey across the Langjökull glacier by snowmobile and sledding  * Explore the natural geothermal hot springs * Private dinner + chef’s table at Iceland’s top exclusive restaurants specializing in Icelandic cuisine * Private yacht safari among floating icebergs * Sensory dining experience by candlelight inside a cave * Access to all sold out Secret Solstice side event music experiences including Into The Glacier and The Lava Tunnel * Plus more speciality services to be released for the $1million dollar guest

All you can eat is Icelandic hotdogs with a backstage pass to Slayer! Seems totally worth it.

The only person I can see spending this much money on a ticket is Dan Bilzerian. And he’d do it just for the Instagram. If it sounds like I’m being a hater that’s because I am. Something about the culture of luxury music festivals bugs me. It could be the fact that the vast majority of festival goers go just to post stuff on social media. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (?). I don’t know. A million dollars is too much money to spend on concert and I hate it.