I'm Not Asking For Credit Because Gronk is Coming Back to the Patriots, But I Am Accepting It


Look, I don’t want to take complete credit for Rob Gronkowski’s abrupt decision to stop all this nonsense and simply announce that he’s coming back to play for the 2018 Patriots. I’ll leave that to others. Who are giving me the complete credit I deserve.

Monday I post that Gronk’s weekend press conference was tone deaf and totally misread the mood of his loyal fan base, including me.

… followed by a half dozen or so RT’s of like-minded Pats fans expressing to me their complete fedupness of his demeanor this offseason. On Tuesday, I post the above blog about Mike Lombardi, an even closer friend of Bill Belichick than I am, if that’s possible, revealing that the all the problems between Gronk and the Pats come down to his contract. And within hours, he not only gives in and makes it all right, he does so with the exact same picture I used in the blog. Cause. Effect.

There was an expression the Nixon Administration used during Vietnam back during a time when network news anchors still had some power to shape opinion in America. And it was “When you’ve lost Cronkite, you’ve lost the nation.” Well, the Gronkowski realized they were coming perilously close to losing Old Balls Thornton. And when you’ve lost Thornton, you’ve lost Patriots Nation. That goofy press event went over like a fart in church with Pats fans. I declared enough was e-goddamned-nough. And so they made it right. And all is good with the world.

So the immediate effect is we have to figure out how Dave didn’t know what #bandsamakeherdance means when his oldest employee who grew up on The Beastie Boys figured it out back in the beginning of March. But that’s neither here not there. The long term effect is that Gronk will be back catching Brady passes and chasing Ring No. 6 and anyone who suggested otherwise is eating ass right now. And the 2018 offseason continues its upward trajectory, just as I’d predicted.

Again, I’m not taking credit. I’m not that kind of hero. But you are welcome.