Mookie Betts Crushes Three Of The Six Homers Hit By The Red Sox, As Shohei Ohtani Hits The Showers After Two Innings

Boston Red Sox v Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim


Baseball is so much more fun when you just win every game. It’s awesome.

I, like you, was waiting for the Red Sox to play a real team. The Rays and Marlins, you’re supposed to ragdoll those teams and toss them aside. The Yankees? They were supposed to be real competition, but then they started getting their doors blown off by the Marlins, so it’s hard to say. The Orioles? Please. Then you see the Angels next up on the schedule, and you’re like, here we fuckin’ go. Second best record in the league with the second best run differential in the league. They’ve scored the most runs, they’ve hit the most homers, they’ve got their ace on the mound, and they’re playing at home. FINALLY! Some real competition.

One batter into the game, and a baseball had been converted into a souvenir. Mookie Betts goes deep to lead off the game against Shohei Ohtani, who is Pedro Martinez 2.0 according to some baseball experts. And let me make this perfectly clear — I’m not an Ohtani hater. I just don’t understand how the “I told you so” crowd could feel so comfortable coming out of the woodwork after two starts against the same team. A decent run-producing team, sure. But it’s one team, two starts.

And one start against the Red Sox shouldn’t shift the narrative a ton either, but it should also serve as a reminder to pump the brakes. The kid could be great, but he’s got a lot to prove and there’s no better measuring stick in the big leagues right now than the Boston Red Sox. He lasted two innings, gave up four hits, three earned runs, two walks, and had no idea where his fastball was going. He threw 66 pitches, and 32 of those pitches were balls. Not a big math guy, but that’s basically half of the pitches that he threw.

They’re calling it a blister. Fine. Chalk it up to the blister if that makes you feel better, but I doubt the blister developed prior to Mookie taking that ass deep seven pitches into the game. By the way, Ohtani’s final pitch of his outing was still 99.4 MPH, so it couldn’t have been that bad. Again, there’s still plenty of time for Ohtani to fulfill the prophecy, but I wasn’t impressed after watching him on Tuesday night.

Once Ohtani hit the showers after two innings of work, Daniel Bard’s brother came in to pitch and the Red Sox slapped him around like a dildo. Two-run bomb for Jackie Bradley Jr., two-run homer for Brock Holt, and another a solo shot for Mookie Betts. That was just in the third inning. An inning later, Rafael Devers crushed his second home run of the season into the 50th row, and the Red Sox had their backup players in the game by the fifth inning. Mookie added his third dinger of the night in the eighth inning, the third three home run game of his career, tying Ted Williams for the most three-homer games in Red Sox history.

If you haven’t noticed, Alex Cora has brilliantly been limiting the number of pitches thrown by his starters this year. Yeah, it’s nice to see your starter go seven innings, but if you don’t have to empty the tank because of a lopsided score, then don’t empty the tank. David Price handed it over to the bullpen after five innings of work, but he only threw 78 pitches. Chris Sale has made four starts this year and has thrown 365 pitches. Through his first four starts last year, he threw 425 pitches. That’s gonna add up as the season goes on, and it can only benefit the Red Sox.

Price held the Angels to just one earned run on three hits with six strikeouts. If you wanna nitpick, he did walk four batters. The fastball velocity wasn’t anything crazy from him either. He was sitting low 90’s with the fastball, and feeding the Angels hitters a steady diet of cutters, recording three of his six strikeouts on that pitch. Two-seamer was working for him, too. Punched out a couple guys with that.

In all, the Red Sox scored ten runs on fifteen hits, six of which went over the fence. That was the fourth time in the last eight games that the Red Sox have put up double digit runs. It was a bloodbath that sure as hell felt like a statement game. You wanna say we’re only playing shit teams? Okay, we’ll piss on the team that everybody had as the favorites to win the division. Oh, that wasn’t good enough? Gotta do it against the team that’s almost as hot as us? Okay, we’ll piss on them, too. Shout out R. Kelly. Lot of piss.


The Red Sox are now 12 games over .500 at 14-2 with an MLB-leading +51 run differential on April 18. The next best run differential in the majors belongs to the Angels at +39. Nobody else in the big leagues has a run differential that’s better than +28. Enough with the whole “They haven’t played any good teams” bullshit. The Red Sox are good. Deal with it.

And what’s worse for the non-believers is that they still have Dustin Pedroia coming back, who people have forgotten is still a really good baseball player. Guy hit .318 with an .825 OPS in 2016, the year before his injury-plagued season in 2017. They still have Drew Pomeranz coming back, who had a 3.32 ERA in 32 starts last season. They still have Steven Wright coming back, who was an All Star in 2016. A little birdie told me that Wright could be pitching in Pawtucket as soon as this Friday.

Oh! And how could I forget? Xander Bogaerts is out of the walking boot, running the bases, fielding ground balls, and taking batting practice. Yeah, the dude that was the hottest hitter on the team when he went down is making significant progress towards a return. The Red Sox are the best team in baseball and they’re going to get even better. Shit ain’t fair.

Rick Porcello goes tonight. He’s got an ERA under two. Pull up a seat.

Final score: Red Sox 10, Angels 1