Ron Artest Threw His Hat Into The Ring For The Knicks Head Coaching Job

You know what? Fuck it, I’m in. This is exactly what the New York Knicks need right now. I’m sure the front office will want to hire a coach with “experience” that “didn’t start the most infamous brawl in NBA sports history”. But that is such an uninspired way to think if you are the Knicks. They have tried things the traditional ways under James Dolan this entire century and failed miserably. It didn’t matter if they had legendary coaches like Lenny Wilkens and Larry Brown, who each didn’t last more than 82 games at MSG. Last season’s Coach of the Year Mike D’Antoni was run out of here in his 4th season in New York. And the two coaches that were hired when Steve Mills was GM failed miserably.

Why not give Artest a shot and right the wrong of drafting Frederic fucking Weis over him back in 1999? Every Knicks fan that remembers the 90s teams misses that kind of style. The No Layup Rules enforced by Oakley and Mason would be reinstated before the introductory press conference was over. You think LeBron would have been flipping that water bottle on the bench if there was a chance that the Knicks coach would attack him like a rabid wolverine because he felt disrespected? Fuck no! Same goes for Derrick Rose ghosting in the middle of the season or emo players #StayingMe7o on social media. Shit, refs will probably be scared to call ticky tack fouls against Ron Ron’s team. History has told us that Knicks coaches hired during James Dolan’s reign of terror won’t be here for a long time. So they might as well be here for a good time. Can you imagine the type of blogs that would come out of the Ron Artest Era at The Mecca? In the words of Kevin Garnett, anything would be possiblllllllle when it came to stories involving the Knicks and Coach Artest. The Knicks can even play Artest one of those “I’m Coming Home” videos since he was born and raised in Queensbridge. We know teams love doing that. Once A Knick, Always A Knick, right James?

P.S. I’m not calling Ron Artest “Metta World Peace” or “The Pandas Friend” or any other goddamn moniker. You can give yourself ridiculous nicknames when you are an active NBA player or in the Wu Tang Clan. But once you retire, that shit ends. His mama call him Artest, I’mma call him Artest.