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Smart, Talented Thief Snags Phone From Helpless Little Kid

The mainstream media is calling this thief “heartless.” They’re calling him “cold-blooded.”

Well I’m calling him smart and talented. And I’m calling this parent brainless. What are you doing giving your toddler your phone to play on alone outside at night on a crotch rocket? It’s not heartless to steal this parent’s phone it’s just smart. If you’re a thief, which it appears this guy is, then your goal is to find a weak, helpless, vulnerable target with a valuable possession and to stealthily steal that possession.

Does it get any better than some clueless, helpless, tiny, weak little child with a phone gleaming in the night like a beacon begging to be stolen and no adult in sight? No it does not.

And he operates smartly but efficiently. He identifies the target, checks for danger, snags the goods, and disappears.

You know how I know he’s smart and talented?

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Got the phone. Hasn’t been caught. Disappeared into the night. That’s a job well done.

I’m not condoning theft — it’s both illegal and morally wrong — but I also don’t believe “heartless” nor “cold-blooded” are the proper adjectives to describe this thief. He didn’t steal the child’s phone; he stole the mother’s phone who carelessly left it in her toddler’s hands alone at night outside on a crotch rocket in what I have no choice but to believe is a sketchy country covered with sketchy people.

If you’re going to chase a life of thievery, you simply HAVE to capitalize on this situation. Guy was just doing his job.

PS — One time I left my debit card in the ATM machine in one of those ATM hubs in Harvard Square because I went to Harvard. The cards self-destroy in 30 seconds but some thief had seen me leave it, snuck in, and withdrawn the hundreds of dollars I had in my account before time ran out.

I wasn’t mad. Hand up, that was on me. That thief had no choice but to capitalize on my carelessness.