Drunk Dude Gets His Arm Ripped Off By 3 Crocodiles In Zimbabwe


Source -  A drunken wedding guest was left bloodied and dismembered after he jumped into a crocodile pool and had an arm ripped off by the maneaters while his head was clamped in their jaws.

Collin Miller, 21, had inexplicably decided to break into a crocodile cage at Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, South Africa, whilst out boozing.

Incredibly he escaped with his life after the three crocodiles released the blood-soaked tourist to fight over his torn off arm allowing a worker and another man to drag the tourist to safety.

Terrified onlookers said the crocodiles went into a feeding frenzy with one reptile ripping off Collin’s arm and another clamping its jaws around his head and shaking.

Fortunately for him the crocodile that had his head was said to have let go and chased after the crocodile with Collin’s arm allowing two brave rescuers to grab him.

They pulled the blood soaked man from the water and over the fence to safety while the three crocodiles fought over his missing arm.

Another literally and figuratively wild story out of the motherland. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Zimbabwean geography, which I am assume is all of you, Victoria Falls is a tourist town. It’s a beautiful place as you can see for yourself:

Vic Falls 1

Vic Falls 2

Vic falls 3

When visiting places like these you’re usually warned of the dangers that can exist. For example if you’re looking to practice safe sex using a locally sourced condom, make sure you double wrap that dick and wash it with acid when you’re done. Or don’t make direct eye contact with a witch doctor (no brainer). You’d think Steve Irwin (RIPIP) would have taught people that crocodiles aren’t to be fucked with. I mean, that’s something that goes without saying right? Yet here we are folks.

The only reason people visit Sub-Saharan Africa is to see wild animals, and I don’t mean Zimbabwean men. They love that Animal Planet shit. Come on down for a safari, wearing their goofy hats:


Like bitch how do you find something that’s looking at you like an ACTUAL snack, cute? Apparently the idea of having lions and cheetahs to stare at while you drinking adds to the ambiance? Maybe its cause I’m African, but I don’t get it. It’s a terrible idea having wild animals and drunken patrons on the same premises. TERRIBLE

The question I asked myself when I saw this article was whose at fault? Is it the man for jumping into a pond full of crocodiles… or the brewery for even having a pond full of crocodiles in the first place? These crocodiles were in an enclosure, they cant like jump and shit so they were just posting. For this guy to think it’s a great idea to climb over the wall and jump into the pond just baffles me. The only spinzone I can think of is he thought it was a swimming pool. But then again the water in crocodile enclosures is so dirty, it should be easy to differentiate. It literally stinks. Not to mention this guys lucky… one of the crocodiles was about to crush his skull, but got distracted by the other one who managed to rip his arm right off. That’s when his friends came and saved his life.

So for me, this one’s easy, its on the idiot that jumped in. A follow up question I have, If you were one of his buddy’s watching this happen, do you hope for the crocodile to chomp down on his head so you don’t have to go into a fucking crocodile enclosure to save him? Promise I wasn’t rooting for him to get his skull crushed….You’d really hate to see that.