Missouri State Girl Got Engaged And Wrote An INSANE Piece Rubbing It In The Faces Of The Girl He Took To Prom

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The Odyssey- High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don’t blame you though. He’s great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn’t work out for you, but I can’t. I can’t because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn’t do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn’t be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Let’s start with a disclaimer: I know that most women would never write something like this. I know that this INSANE essay from Victoria Higgins of Missouri State University is not the voice of engaged women. I acknowledge that the vast majority of women do not toss and turn at night because they weren’t there to cheer for their man when he came off the bench in that JV hockey game because they were getting blown out and the coach had already gone to the locker room to hit the bottle. Women, I know Victoria Higgins isn’t… you.

But… she is a woman. And the fact that she wrote this piece, and that it was published, probably means that some other women thought, “oh yeah, that will definitely connect with our female readers.” So it’s safe to say that there are at least a handful of people out there who read this and thought she nailed it. And that, my friends, is insane.

First and foremost, this dude is dead. Dead meat. The fact that his fiancée is jealous of women he dated in high school, whom she doesn’t even know, means that if he so much as exhales at some random chick, his wife is going to stuff his dick in the pepper grinder while he sleeps. I hope he enjoyed his run because he will NOT make it out of this thing alive. I give him a year before he kills himself.

Perhaps the craziest part about this is that she’s writing it as though she thinks her fiancés high school girlfriends are reading it. She is speaking directly to them, addressing them as though they’re sitting at a diner together, hashing out who gets to keep his high school track jacket. And fuck those chicks– they only went to his games to be popular! Meanwhile, poor old Vicki Higgins was living her life somewhere else, not knowing that she SHOULD have been at the game too, supporting him for the right reasons!

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop.

Yup. We can all tell that you are definitely not jealous. It really seems like you have a strong sense of self, that you two have established a deep trust and understanding that will cement your love and keep you calm when he leaves the house to buy eggs but doesn’t text you when he gets to the market which means he’s probably flirting with the cashier and she’s a blonde and of course he likes blondes because he’s a pig and you knew all along that he was a total piece of shit and even when your mother warned you about him you tried to convince her she was wrong, that he was one of the good ones, but she was right, so now you’re standing in the kitchen with the carving knife in your hand, waiting for him to come home, and it’s alllllll going to be over soon.

“Wait… you’re telling me he’s still wearing Hollister shirts? And that chain necklace with the key that doesn’t open anything? AND he got a full upper-sleeve tattoo that could either be bird feathers or medieval armor?! FUCK. He truly is the one that got away.” – the dude’s high school girlfriends

PS- This is why you can never ask “how many people have you had sex with?” after you turn 12. You don’t want to know anymore. Everyone deserves a blank slate. Unless their slate is covered in herpes. In which case, be honest.