Johnny Manziel Blames the Browns for Not Knowing He Doesn't Watch Film


Say what you will about Johnny Football, but you have to admire his honesty here. He’s not claiming to be a workaholic or some kind of football savant. Quite the contrary. He’s owning it. At Texas A&M, he wasn’t a film room wonk, huddled in the dark breaking down Mississippi State’s disguised coverages. From Sunday to Friday he tore through the campus party scene and the coeds, then on Saturday he tore through the opposition. He didn’t understand the X’s and O’s of football because he didn’t had to. He dropped back, improvised, read and reacted, ran around and [cliche alert] made plays. If the Browns wanted a study geek, they should’ve drafted Hermoine Granger. But they took guy the saw on the Aggies’ game tape. To the thunderous applause of certain experts:

The Browns in this are like the women some of my best friends married. My best friends who happen to be Type A gamblers, accomplished drinkers and hilarious Massholes. And during the marriages, these wives were appalled that their husbands were gambling, staying out late and spending time with the rest of us. Instead of realizing that they knew what they were getting into. Cleveland moved up to the 22nd pick, gave Johnny Football a $4.3 million signing bonus, a 4-year, $8.25 million deal and put him behind the wheel of their offense, then acted shocked when he didn’t change. Fuck off. Do your homework next time.

Again, I respect Manziel for his candor. I don’t necessarily think that saying that to Dan Patrick as he’s in the middle of trying to launch Comeback SZN is the smartest approach. But at least he’s not claiming to be something he’s not.