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Let's Start A Condom Challenge Where We Snort Condoms Up Our Noses -Teens, 2018

I had a feeling that I had been derelict in my duties. For months now, I have thought, “Chaps, you gotta tell the teens on the internet about condoms. If you dont, they will end up snorting them. Your blogs and videos cant be all about vaping mad clouds. There’s gotta be some condom talk too.”

I was right. Teens have no idea what condoms are used for. Let me explain.

When you are horny, you can put a condom on your penis. That’s all they are used for. Condoms are just a sign that you are really horny. When a partner sees you wearing a condom, they know that you are ready for sex, and sex that is going to last a while. If you want to have quick sex, you dont wear a condom. If you want a tantric romp, you wear one. You see, the penis head is filled with nerve endings. The condom serves as a buffer plate to those endings. If you wear a condom, you can have sex for literally hours with the proper lube. I recommend something that isn’t water-based. If you snort a condom, you wont have sex at all. Keep that in mind. That’s all I’m saying.

(also. fellas, flush your old condoms down the toilet. Used condoms start to stink on day 2 in the trash. It’s weird.)