I Don't Want a 'Bill & Ted 3,' I NEED a 'Bill & Ted 3'

EW – Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure hit theaters in 1989 and became a box office phenomenon. It was a multimedia franchise for the multimedia age. There was a cartoon spin-off, a live-action TV spin-off, a Nintendo game. 1991 brought a sequel, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, where the San Dimas duo played by Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter went on a journey through the afterlife, meeting the Grim Reaper (William Sadler) and defeating him in a bout of Battleship.

[T]he possibility of a new Bill & Ted movie actually first came up over a decade ago. … The result of [original Bill & Ted writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon’s] efforts is a script titled Bill & Ted Face the Music, which finds our intrepid explorers still struggling to complete the great work of their life. At the end of Excellent Adventure, futuristic mentor Rufus (George Carlin) told the teens that they would write music that would turn the world into a utopia. “You’re told you’re gonna save the world,” Matheson says. “And now you’re 50 and you haven’t done it. Now they’re married, and it affects their marriages, and it affects their relationships with their kids, and it affects their everything.” …

“Indomitable spirits confronted with, ‘Is this the end?’” Reeves continues. “Of course, there is a little caveat in that someone comes from the future and says: ‘Not only do you have to save the world, you have to save everything.’”

“I think it’s kind of like A Christmas Carol with Bill and Ted,” teases Solomon. “Looking at their lives, and really kind of rediscovering what they’re about.”

OK, I need to chill. Take a deep breath. Step back. Remind myself of a few cruel, harsh realities. Like how very few sequels ever live up to expectations. That even fewer comedy sequels do. And a comedy sequel that is a third installment coming out almost 30 years after the second one should have no shot to be any good.

I’ve been burned too many times before. By their nature, comedies are the toughest genre to sequelize because you’ve used up all the good laughs making the first. Which is why for every Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear or Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls that works, you get a dozen or so pf Anchorman 2 (just a scene for scene ripoff of the first), Dumb & Dumber To (another rehash of the same jokes only way more sad to watch) or America Pie 9: Eugene Levy’s Bills Won’t Pay Themselves.

So there is just no way a middle aged Bill & Ted can work, right? Wrong. I cannot talk myself out of wanting to see this become a reality. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary. Call it a triumph of Optimism over Experience, but I can’t wait to see this. It should be noted that Bogus Journey is arguably the best comedy sequel of all time.

That both movies have aged so well that my kids love them. That, incredibly, they are both rated PG. And best of all Keanu Reeves is totally on board with playing Ted “Theodore” Logan again. I mean, you could understand if, after spending so many years making himself a viable action star in mega-franchises like The Matrix trilogy and John Wick, he’d never want to risk playing a lovable dope in a comedy. But such is the appeal of these indelible and beloved characters that he wants them back. So do the writers. So does Alex Winter. And I demand it. Make this happen, Hollywood. And party on, dudes.