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This British Kid With The World's Most Punchable Face Has Been Arrested SIX Times in DC Over The Last Month For Being The Drunkest Human On Earth

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Ladies and gentleman, the world’s most punchable face!

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Metro - A British man has been arrested after ordering the most expensive food and wine at some of Washington DC’s most fanciest hotels – then walking out without paying the bill. Nick Cooper, 21, was caught after going on a month spree of the US capital’s most luxurious dinner spots. According to police documents, he reportedly ordered a $1,200 (£850) glass of 34-year-old Teeling Irish single malt whiskey, which is normally kept under combination lock in a vault.

The 21-year-old has already been arrested six times in the last month, the first time by the Secret Service near the White House on March 9 for refusing to move on a street while he was drunk. He was then arrested again for failing to obey police after he tried to escape from then. On March 13, he stopped by the renowned Willard Intercontinental hotel and allegedly spent $68.20 (£50) at the bar using a fake name.

He was arrested later that week for damaging a glass door at the Embassy Row Hotel and for trying to resist officers. A few days later, he was arrested for theft and resisting arrest after dining at the Ritz-Carlton.

Earlier this week he was arrested for contempt of court on suspicion of ignoring a judge’s orders to stay away from the White House.

My god why aren’t we deporting this kid? He seems worse than any terrorist ever. Imagine just being in this kid’s general presence. This kid has such a strong douche vibe that I feel a dog would start barking if he was in the same zip code. Imagine being in the same room, nevermind the same bar as him. The thought of that makes me want to curb stomp myself with needles up my nose, as that would be less painful.

I will give him a little bit of credit though- kid has fine taste and a large set of nuts on him. Sure he uses the nuts to be an asshole, but nuts are nuts. I don’t know a ton of single malt whiskey, but what I do know is if I was in the single malt whiskey game, ordering something that they keep under lock and key like Nicolas Cage is trying to steal it would be the way I would go. By the way, how good is National Treasure? I love that movie.

But anywho, here’s the real kicker- this guy, a British citizen, has been arrested by the police or Secret Service SIX TIMES in a month. Six!!! I didn’t even know you could get arrested that many times, released, and then arrested again. I think after arrest number 3 in the same month we have to have some sort of 30 day minimum sentence. After arrest 4, double it. If they get up to 5, I think it’s sort of like a punch card at your local cafe when you get a free coffee for coming so many times, but after arrest number 6 you have to put the person in Gitmo. We just can’t have little shitheads like him running amok all over our cities with no repercussions. Stealing our whiskey, vandalizing our hotels. I mean he was arrested for being too close to the White House. We need to bring back the catapult. Let’s just see how far we can toss him.