Disney Star Caroline Sunshine Joins The White House Press Team: Who Should Be Next?
March 28 (UPI) — A former star on the Disney Channel is joining President Donald Trump’s White House team as a press aide.
Caroline Sunshine, known for playing the role of Tinka Hessenheffer in Shake It Up, had been serving as a White House intern.
“Caroline Sunshine was a White House intern. In college, she was involved with the American Enterprise Institute and an active member of her school’s Model United Nations team,” White House spokeswoman Lindsay Walters told CNN.
Before her internship, Sunshine, 22, interned for House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, the College Republican National Committee and the California Republican Party.
Obviously, this was a good pick. Caroline Sunshine has interned all over Washington and went to school in order to work in politics. But, you’d have to be a fucking IDIOT to not see that there are some other former kid stars who would be great in roles at the White House.
Let’s start with some of the obvious ones.
1. Big Pete from Pete and Pete.
It was younger Pete who was always getting the brothers into jams. Bigger Pete was getting them out. I could see him getting hired by the White House to be like the National Security Council’s Press Secretary. He’s well spoken and looks like a respectable young man.
2. Donkey Lips
Donkey Lips looks like the kinda fella who really likes to get his nose dirty in the political process. He’s down for late night chats that are filled with below-average cups of coffee. He would stew and stew over the news while his collar gets stained from his perspiration. He would certainly fire off some memes and tweets in order to own the libs. Senior Policy Advisor for Donkey Lips.
3. The Entire Cast of Hey Dude
Folks, you’re looking at the new staff of the Department of the Interior. You think anyone cares about national parks like these folks who have been working on ranches since they were teenagers? Forgettaboutit. Plus, diversity matters. Sorry if this offends.
4. Raven
I think Raven should be the new Vice President of the United States. Sure, she’s inexperienced but if anyone gets in a big-time argument, they can just play her theme song. It’s much easier to debate with a smile instead of a frown. Listen to this song and turn the frown upside down. Mike Pence cant do that. He’s a big ole stick in the mud.
5. Joey Lawrence
Now, I think we can all agree that Joey would be a great Secretary of State. I cant imagine having tensions rise too high when he flashes that big toothy grin. But, in light of recent news, Joey is out. It’s just hard to imagine someone working in the West Wing with a Bankruptcy under his belt.
Now that you have an in, Caroline Sunshine, it’s time to bring the rest of your pals with you.
Side note: her show was fantastic. I fucking love puppets!