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Happy 85th Birthday To Sir Michael Caine, A Truly All-Time Legend Of This Earth

Without an alert from Octagon Bob I would have had no idea how great this day actually was. March 14th might as well be an international holiday. And I would’ve felt awful disparaging a legend of not just the screen but also the world, and a goddamn KNIGHT on top of it all. Plus he’s the one that taught me why we fall…

So here’s to my #1 spirit animal Sir Michael Caine aka Maurice Micklewhite having the best 85th birthday a human being can possibly have. It’s a wild coincidence as Mo’s mortality was heavy on my mind last night (RIP Stephen Hawking?), as it is every night, and here he is the next day proudly reassuring the world he is here to stay. A young whippasnappah if you will, because sometimes you need more dan jus a man.. Sometimes… you need a wise ol’ Knioght.

And there is truly no knight wiser than Sir Michael. He’s a timeless wonder and trail blazer for so many, not to mention an enthralling jack-of-all-trades performer. Is it all in the name? It could be. That thing has Prestige wrapped all over it folks. Imagine creating a name so fraught with such raw power, essentially on a whim and it COMPLETELY launches your career…

(Telegraph) - Caine adopted the alias in 1954 after seeing a poster for the Humphrey Bogart film The Caine Mutiny. He continued: “One evening my agent said ‘I’ve got you a job, I’ve got you three days but you can’t call yourself Michael White, so give me another name.’

“I was in a telephone booth in Leicester Square and I was opposite the Odeon and I looked up, and my favourite actor is Humphrey Bogart, and there it was.”

I’ve always wondered how people like The Rock and Kid Rock get away with going by completely demented names at all times, but I guess it’s just that easy. Just gotta “Act as if” as that shitty Batman said long ago in Boiler Room. Time to learn everything I can from Sir Michael while the Inception clock is still ticking, because even though he will never ever die, he IS gonna hang up his acting cape soon…

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USE HIM WHILE YOU CAN CHRISTOPHER NOLAN!!!

(DM)- “They haven’t retired me just yet. I feel it’s coming. I’m 85 this week and getting up at 6.30am and learning six pages of dialogue… well, it’s not my idea of paradise.”

Michael currently has three projects in production, including The King Of Thieves, based on the Hatton Garden heist, in which he is thought to be playing real life ringleader Brian Reader, 76, who was sentenced to six years for his active role in the £200M robbery.

The hard-working actor has admitted he has never turned down any roles that he has been offered but recalled that working on the 1978 film The Swarm is one of his biggest regrets. He said: “I never turned anything down. There were quite a few movies I regretted. I always tell me children, “Use the difficulty”. They’ve even bought me a cushion with “use the difficulty” on it.”

Feel like this is an overlooked fact with Sir Michael too… My prince of South London, my king of Wayne Manor… he’s produced quality AND quantity over all these years. Literally has never said no to anything that comes across his desk. It’s the method Nic Cage probably should have been following (but please never change Nic) but one thing is for sure. I NEED one of those “Use The Difficulty” pillows. That is next level shit. THAT is how you climb out of Bane’s prison.

The butler of Bruce Wayne, the father of Austin Powers, the original Alfie, the original Mark Wahlberg, BFF’s with Morgan Freeman, married to Shakira, Knighted by Queen Elizabeth, and adored by all. Cheers to you Master Caine, you ah as precious to me as you were to your own motha and fatha.. I swore to them that I would protect you… And I have today on the internet.

Honestly I think about this man more than my own mother and father. I love you Pennyworth. I won’t bury you. Evah.

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