Advertisement

Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SSTSSTaSSTb

Alabama - A Calhoun County high school teacher has been arrested amid accusations she has been involved in a sexual relationship with a student since last year.

Stephanie Henry Pruett, 28, was taken into custody Thursday, said Sheriff Matthew Wade. She is charged with engaging in a sexual act with a student. According to the Weaver High School website, Pruett teaches history to sophomores and juniors, as well as a Bible-as-literature class.

The sheriff said they received information on Thursday that Pruett, who is married with a child, had been sexually involved with a 17-year-old boy since October 2017. He said investigators spoke with Pruett and the student, both of whom provided enough facts to lead to formal charges. …

This is her first year at Weaver High School.

Of course. The old Bible-as-Literature class. We had one offered when I was in school. It’s the classic way religious people try to sneak Bible studies into a public school curriculum without running afoul of the civil liberties crowd. So they present one of the most unreadable documents ever written filled with 1,000-word, single-sentence paragraphs about who begat whom who begat some other whom until you swallow your tongue with boredom as a real page turner just to spread the gospel. That was a hard pass from me. I took Mythology instead because I knew it would offer the stories of sex and violence every growing boy needs.

But then I didn’t have a Bible teacher like Stephanie Henry Pruett. She probably used the Old Testament as her way to seduce her male students. Focus on the erotic tales of Sodom & Gomorrah. Sexy passages out of Ezekiel like “she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts.” Maybe spice things up like King Saul telling David the price of his daughter’s hand in marriage is “a hundred Philistine foreskins” (Samuel 18:20-30). Basically treat the Good Book like the steamy sandal-and-sword epic it can be in the right hands. And whichever 17-year-old gets the message by giving her a little staff of Moses in his pants gets the extra private tutoring after school. The ACLU might tell Stephanie she can’t teach kids religion, but they didn’t say she can’t show them heaven.

The Grades:
Looks: Eesh. Stephanie Pruett is the co-worker you can have a friendly relationship with because no one in the office thinks you’re trying to bang her because she’s not worth filling out the forms declaring it to HR. I don’t what she’d be in an Alabama high school. But by the standards of GtNSST, I’m being kind if I give her
Grade: C-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: She’s married. Has a child. Assigns Bible passages as homework every day. And in her first year at Weaver High has already spread the Word of God along with her legs. Granted we could stand to know more like what is this evidence the police are talking about. But that’s a hell of a rookie campaign.
Grade: B

Intangibles: More Old Testament: “So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father” (Genesis 19:35). This thing reads like it was written by George R.R. Martin. No wonder Mrs. Pruett couldn’t control herself.
Grade: B-

Overall: C+. Good for Alabama getting into the SST game, but you’re gonna have to do better.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.