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Mr. Kraft and His Girlfriend Couldn't Have Looked Any Happier at the Oscars

“Kraft got cucked!” they said. “His girlfriend cheated on him!” they said. Last week when the Patriots announced that Mr. Kraft was in fact not the father of Ricki Nicole Lander’s baby but was “thrilled” about it, who was the one who saw them as a loving couple happy about this blessed event? I’ll give you a hint. It was me.

So who looks right after these two crazy lovebirds were doing the town on Oscar Night? I’ll give you another hint. It’s me. Is this the look of a man who was done dirty by his significant other? Hell, no. If there had been any monkeyshines going on behind his back, Mr. Kraft would’ve squired some actress around Hollywood. I’m thinking Gal Gadot or Margot Robbie or someone on their level. Or just gone stag and pulled the hottest available tail at Elton John’s after party. That pocket hanky alone would make panties drop all over the red carpet. But he and Lander’s relationship is built on monogamy, trust and mutual respect. That’s why they can look the paparazzi in the cameras without an iota of shame, just a happy twosome on a night out with a babysitter watching the kid. And the ultimate committed Hollywood Power Couple.

So apologies accepted, haters. You keep admiring lesser men and I’ll just continue to be happy for my bestest buddy and his wonderful family.

P.S. One of the Boston music stations reported that Ricki went in vitro fertilization. I don’t know what they’re basing their information on, but that’s the most plausible, reasonable explanation. I’m going with that.

 @jerrythornton1