I Would Like To Extend A Formal Invitation To Eiza González To Be My Friend

Lot of creeps on the internet were responding some filthy things to my tweet last night.  Pretty juvenile.  It’s like everyone only has one thing on their mind all the time.  Me, all I’m interested in is developing a friendship with a stunning actress and beautiful person.   Walks and brunch on the weekends.  Casual conversations about work and pop culture.  Hold your dog’s leash while you pick up his poop.   A nice friendly hug to cap it all off.  That’s all.   Friend Zone is my Comfort Zone.

My girls were hating on her dress last night.  Fran and Kelly saying it was Forever 21 trash.   Pretty rude. I thought it was very pretty!   Looks like there’s going to have to be some separation of the groups for hanging out.   I won’t stand for cattiness.

Ria and I will take Wednesday nights.  We can watch Baby Driver and I’ll try and convince everyone that Ansel Elgort’s music is actually good.

Looking forward to developing an interpersonal bond of mutual affection!