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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

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South CarolinaA Greenville County teacher and track coach at Greer High School has been charged after she was found partially undressed in an SUV with a student, according to Ryan Flood, with the Greenville County Sheriff’s Office.

Elizabeth Heaton Taylor is charged with two counts of sexual battery with a student between 16 and 17 years old and giving false information to police.

Flood said that on Thursday at about 6:30 p.m., deputies found an SUV parked suspiciously on Holland Road in Simpsonville.

He said Taylor and a student were found inside the SUV and Taylor was partially undressed.

Flood said Taylor gave deputies a false name during the investigation.

He said investigators learned that between Jan. 1 and Thursday, Taylor engaged in sexual acts with the student on at least two separate occasions.

AndIn August 2017, Taylor married Alex Taylor in Greenville, according to their wedding announcement in The State. That announcement says that Taylor attended Mauldin High School, graduating in 2009. From there, Taylor went on to study biology and secondary science education at the University of South Carolina, graduating in 2015.

I try not to do too many of these. Like I’ve said before, I don’t want Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher to become overdone like some SNL recurring character you just want to see go away or have them drag on like (spoiler) Carl’s endless goodbye on The Walking Dead this week. It’s better to leave some of the lesser ones simply ungraded than water down the product.

That said, this is like the fourth of these I’ve done this week. Which is a reflection on the quality of the candidates. When you’ve got a crazy redheaded vice principal MILF, a fairly attractive teacher sending a kid nudes just as the cops are coming to arrest her and a first ballot Hall of Famer like Stephanie Peterson, you can’t hold back. So enter Elizabeth Taylor. A southern belle who checks every box in the SST punchlist to close out a great week.

The Grades:
Looks: It’s a shame we don’t have more high quality pics like those wedding photos. And believe me, I put in the time, but this was the best I could come up with. But as you can see, when she’s not posing for a mugshot she’s got that all-American look of a USC basketball cheerleader. Or at the very least, the cute coed with the Gamecocks stickers on her cheeks the camera keeps cutting to for reaction shots at tournament time. She can’t breathe the same rarefied air of a Peterson. But in any other week she’d be queen of the hill.
Grade: B+

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Married in August, and five months into the marriage your caught half naked in your car by cops at 6:30 at night with on of her 16-year-old student. These two would be the best couple ever on The Newlywed Game. As it is, they’ll just have to settle for my congratulations on a long and happy marriage and giant MC/BJ points. But if you were one of their wedding guests who didn’t bring a gift but was planning to give them something inside the one-year grace period, you might want to hold off.
Grade: A

Intangibles: I know nothing about Elizabeth Taylor besides one year a final question about her cost my team the Barstool Trivia Championship. (Q: Which movie role involved the most costume changes? A: Cleopatra. And a team with all guys got that right to beat us. I’ll never forget that bad beat.) Instead, I’ll go with “Maudlin. [mawd-lin] adjective: foolishly or mawkishly sentimental because of drunkenness.”
Grade: B

Overall: B+. Take a number, Elizabeth Taylor. You’ve been wait listed for the 2018 All Star team.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.