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Big News, I Think I've Been Granted Access Into Kyrie Irving's Wokeness Wavelength

Boston Celtics vs. Cleveland Cavaliers

Listen we all know Kyrie Irving has the ability to operate on a brain wavelength us mere humans can’t understand. You don’t talk the way he does and have a seeing third eye celebration with Jaylen without having some sort of special power. I first noticed it on the Instagram post that I will not let die

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It’s where the #3/23 movement first started. Common folk said Greenie, this is just their birthday stop being an idiot. But I couldn’t, something was telling me to dig a little deeper. I can’t explain it, but I listened and started to uncover some encouraging signs

The whole thing just seemed like it was in front of my face the entire time, but my logical brain couldn’t comprehend it. It didn’t make sense. I had seen Haywards ankle explode with my own eyes. I tried to put it in the back of my brain and just move on, but then this happened

There it was again, something deep inside me that wouldn’t let things die. Randomly at work, I had this thought earlier in the day

I don’t know why I felt so strongly about this but I had never been more confident in anything in my life. All the things we were hearing from the team suggested the exact opposite, that Hayward still was so far away and blah blah blah. Many called me crazy and stupid for even entertaining this idea.

But then today happened

And now I get it. Kyrie has allowed me to see what he sees. I now have access to a level of wokeness I didn’t think existed. It’s a power I will not take for granted, and something I will do my best to bring to you, the fine people of the internet, in a way your simple human brain can comprehend. Look at that video again. Do I think it’s still a long shot? Sure. But I do not think it’s a coincidence that as we get closer and closer to this mysterious target date that all of the sudden I have this ability.

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It’s Friday, the Celtics are playing great, I say allow yourself to dream today. Get overly excited and irrational. You never know, YOU could be next to join us on this level of wokeness. Let’s GOOOOOOO