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Using A Baby As An Umbrella In A Rainstorm Is One Way To Keep Dry I Suppose

It’s pretty obvious to say, but nobody likes getting caught in a rainstorm. Once you make it inside, your clothes are soaking wet, your shoes squeak every time you take a step, and you can feel the pneumonia set in when your face and body start to get hot. Since man is the most advanced creature on Earth, he invented the umbrella to alleviate these problems. But since man is also not perfect, he sometimes doesn’t have an umbrella at his disposal. He also created erasers on pencils for that very reason, but that’s another story for another blog.

Anyway, when you are caught in your car and need to get out, you go through all the possible solutions to avoid getting absolutely mollywhopped by Mother Nature. Sometimes you have a newspaper at your disposal, sometimes you can use an old shopping bag, and sometimes there is a miniature human that can be lifted over your head to protect you from those cold raindrops. That’s just the type of ingenuity that helped invent little things like the wheel and fire. Ever heard of them? Usually people will weigh the pros and the cons of each umbrella replacement and drenching a baby just to keep your hair dry tilts the scales heavily in the Cons category.

I mean would I pull such a move? Heavens no. I sounded just like the narrator in the video while watching this. If you think getting caught in the rain is bad, try taking care of a sick baby. It’s hell on Earth. And while that may be bad, going viral on the internet for being a shitty parent/aunt/babysitter is likely pretty fucking bad too. And lets be honest, that baby will barely cover you from any water that is raining down from the heavens.

*Turns on dad voice*

So to anyone thinking about doing this themselves, don’t. Getting a baby soaking wet so you just stay a little dryer is a bad idea. I’m using my dad voice right now just so you know I’m serious. And while I am lecturing you, check out today’s episode of Podfathers. Chaps and I recreated the night we were conceived and it got about weird as you can imagine.