Shoutout to Steve who sent me this footage. As a decade-long sufferer from issues like the longtime stoolie seen in this video, I understand his plight. It’s a cold morning and your belly is rumbling something fierce. You try to make it to the bathroom but the coffee just hit you too damn hard. Probably ripped a cig, too. Needless to say, the skids were greased. You realize that your O-ring cant hold the force of nature that’s behind your butthole so you let loose with the fire of a thousand suns. You can barely get your trousers around your creases in your asses fast enough. Spray and pray, like they say.
Sadly, you’re wearing Vans. While stylish, they aren’t known for their grip under wet circumstances. Buddy,,, this circumstance is as wet as they come. You fall. You’re covered in your own mess. You end up on Barstool. Your buddies roast you. Embarrassed, you say, “at least I made it on Barstool.” You’re right about that, Diarrhea Dan. You’re right about that.