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My Tweet About Jay-Z Went Viral And I've Learned A Lot

It’s February 21st, the sun is shining in this glorious 75 degree weather, and just when I think this day can’t possibly get any better, Black Instagram starts to chirp.

Big shout out to @theshaderoom for putting me on blast, because this day, a day that was on track for ordinary, just became extraordinary. They even gave me #liz!

And I owe it all to the god himself: Hova.

Yesterday I suggested people should tip their servers 20%.

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I also said Jay-Z, who left an $11k tip (and maybe left more on top of what likely is automatic gratuity) did NOT leave a shitty tip, but from what we know, it was not 20%.

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I’ve had pro-choice conversations with conservative red necks that ended friendlier than this whole ordeal.

But we all make mistakes, and all we can do is learn from them.

100k likes and 27,000 comments later, and I have learned, I’ve learned a lot:

1) My job at Barstool is not a real job and I am stupid af.

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2) I should go back to Mexico and ask them more than 11k tip.

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3) I was debating between vacationing in the Riviera Maya or the Amalfi Coast, the universe has spoken.

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4) My saintly mother is ugly.

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5) I met Jay-Z, apparently.

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6) I’m about to get fired from a job I don’t even work.

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7) I got fired for tryin’ be Norma Ray.

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8) Buffet places are all the rage.

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9) Trekkies are ride or die.

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10) If you make $11k, servers should tip YOU 20%.

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I’m gonna go kill myself now, thank you for the lessons.

#liz