I think by now it is not an exaggeration to say that Bill Polian is more full of shit than any living creature that has ever walked, flown or swam on the planet Earth. Like if you hollowed out Argentinosaurus and filled it with a Blue Whale’s worth of shit, it wouldn’t be more full of shit than this bitter, double-talking, reactionary old coot. It’s like he came into existence in a pre-internet time when he could talk out of every orifice at the same time, contradict himself at will and not be called on it. And he still hasn’t adjusted to a social media age that holds you accountable to own your opinions.
I mean, just count the times this Hall of Fame team-building genius talked out both sides of his mouth about Johnny Manziel. Cleveland “owed” it to their fans to give them that Johnny Football “magic” at No. 4. That got him at 22 but he went all bust on everyone’s ass. So Captain Hindsight waits 4 years and says everybody knew he was a problem and the Browns got what they deserved. Now he says he’d give Lamar Jackson a good leaving alone because he’s too short. Even though he loved the magical Johnny Manziel who’s three inches shorter. So which is it?
Bear in mind Polian is the same revisionist historian who claims he had a first round grade on Tom Brady back in 2000, but didn’t take him because they already had Peyton Manning. Even though Brady could’ve been had with any of the first 198 picks in the draft, Polian passed. Right. Because why would he want a capable backup that cost him nothing in terms of draft capital? Then this week he said if he was the Eagles, he wouldn’t part with Nick Foles for anything less than two first rounders. Why? Because you need a good back up, of course.
Look, it’s one thing if you’re just some Kiper/Mayock draft guru pulling opinions out of your crack because those guys are just entertainers. I’m convinced that 90 percent of what they do is just a parlor trick. They put together a word soup of football cliches’ that can’t be proven or disproven and sell them as definite opinions. “Heywood Jablowme is a 6-5, 245 lb edge rusher out of Auburn. He’s got good pad level, a quick get-off and uses his hands to gain separation. He’s got a solid motor but sometimes gets too deep with his rush angles.” Which is all absolute nonsense you could say about literally any prospect ever. Bill Polian is on TV because he’s a guy who has built Super Bowl teams. He’s supposed to be telling us what a guy with a gold jacket would do if he was running a war room right now. Not be this self-contradicting old gasbag making a fool out of himself every time he opens his dentures.