God. Damn. It. I didn’t wanna see that but, since I saw it, now you have to see it. Those are the rules of the internet. Sorry. Ever since I moved to the big city I have become borderline obsessed with sushi. I never ate sushi over the 27 years I lived in Iowa. That might seem like an obvious thing to do, cause Iowa is not close to any body of water, but it wasn’t that deliberate. I didn’t eat it cause I didn’t want to eat it. Simple as that. If I was going to a place that had sushi that usually meant they also had Chinese food and I picked Chinese food 1,000 times out of 1,000. But then I moved to NYC and literally everybody eats sushi in NYC so I caved to peer pressure. And guess what? Turns out there’s a reason everybody eats sushi. It’s delicious. Who would’ve though.
Well that all might be out the window now after watching that video. That piece of sushi wasn’t just alive. It was alive alive. It reacted to the person touching it. That piece of sushi was so alive it had thoughts and feelings and opinions on today’s political climate. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to eat sushi again. If ever there was a time I needed one of those Men In Black mind erasers it’s right this second. I’ve come to love sushi and now I don’t know what the fuck to do.