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We've Got A New Dwarf Antelope At The Lincoln Park Zoo And It Needs A Name


One of the newest arrivals at the Lincoln Park Zoo needs a name, and the facility wants public input. The zoo says a female klipspringer — a rather adorable kind of dwarf antelope — was born at the zoo on March 30.



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Well that’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even know dwarf antelopes were a thing and now we’ve got one in our backyard. Little good news bad news situation with this guy though. Good news is it looks like she is going to survive. I have a bad track record with baby animal deaths, so it’s good to get in the win column. The bad news is that because of her survival Lincoln Park Zoo wants you to name it and the names they have picked are fucking TERRIBLE. Nadra? Asha? Speak English motherfucker. I don’t care if this thing is originally from Africa, it was born in Chicago and it’s an American. So I’m doing everyone a favor and naming her Franky. I think that’s a thing people do now, name their daughter Franky because they wish it was a son. And that’s what I did, I didn’t want a girl Antelope, I wanted a boy, so we’re calling her Franky and teaching her how to play football and not be one of those weird dwarfs that makes everyone uncomfortable when they walk around, you know like those ones from the show a few years back, Little People Big World, yeah that show creeped me out. Franky won’t be like that.