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Check Out How Cute $20 Chef Looks In His Big Bad Prison Guard Costume!

Awwwww. How cute! Has anyone seen his baseball? Look, I don’t care Chef did in his past life. Shit, I don’t even really care what he does now. All I know is he Snapchats and Grams every time he trains like if he doesn’t put it out on social for people to see like an insecure hardo, it didn’t happen. Not to mention overcompensating for being scared by talking major shit every damn sec leading up to Rough N’ Rowdy. HOWEVER, one factor that has played mightily into Chefs favor is the legend of Shaun Latham: Maximum Security Prison Guard. People have been acting like he was throwing down with the Aryan Brotherhood in the yard every damn day. It’s gotten to the point where the odds for this 39-year-old pastry puss are BANANALAND (and I love it):

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But this – THIS magoo looking muppet is supposed to garner scare points solely because of his job title? The man looks like the result of Farva fucking Paul Blart with Private Pyle rubbing one out on top. HA. Prison Guard, no Prison Guard. Who gives a shit? Take it from someone who has actually seen some serious stuff in his days. The pain in this poor pasta man’s soul has had more of a lingering, angry affect than anything he could’ve experience babysitting for a living.

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And then there’s everyone’s least favorite “Hey, that’s that guy from that thing but I don’t care enough to know his actual name” actor Michael Rapapport coming out to give his thoughts nobody wants to hear. He demanded to go on Barstool Radio only to lead off by saying I’m a non-factor and doesn’t need to be talked about. Makes sense. I’m also apparantly from the Poconos and have no right to represent Philadelphia. He also challenged my father to a fight. Seriously. Other false facts he spewed out during the day were: I have no desk (huh?). He doesn’t owe me $2K from being a lying scumbag in Fantasy Football. And he never sided with his peers when they were accused of sexual misconduct. Oh, wait, he didn’t even care to defend himself on the last one. Keep your mitts and anger issues to yourself, Rap!

See everyone Friday. $10 Cook – OUT.

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