Belichick's Plea to McDaniels Were the Most Romantic Words These Ears Have Ever Heard

“I want you to be by my side. I am going to open my world to you. Show you how I view roster building, how I look at financials and the salary cap.” – Bill Belichick to Josh McDaniels, as reported by Mike Reiss

Whatever lingering questions the world may have about why Josh McDaniels left Chris Ballard crying in his gown at the church in front of everybody have been answered. How does McDaniels – how does any Football Guy – resist these words? Especially when you picture Belichick staring into your soul, giving you those sultry Sideline Eyes of his. The ones he used to stare down Pete Carroll on the goal line. And he saying them with that deep, monotone baritone voice of his. Maybe even biting his lower lip just a little. I am going to open my world to you. That is the stuff that makes sweatpants hit the floor. And in that moment, I can’t imagine anything else could possibly matter. Verbal agreements. The chance to be one of the 32. Andrew Luck. A friendship with Chris Ballard. A commitment to Dave DeGuglielmo. Nothing. Except those seductive words and a chance to be by this man’s side for the foreseeable future.

By the time the Patriots play their fourth game of 2018, I’ll have hit my 25th wedding anniversary. I fully admit I outkicked my coverage with the frollicksome Irish Rose. When we’re together we look like someone should put out an Amber Alert for her. I recognize that. And yet in all that time I’ve never once said anything as romantic as what Belichick said to make McDaniels stay. She’s lucky she gets the occasional quote from Groundhog Day on her Facebook page or a Doctor Who card on Valentine’s. Not because I don’t feel the feelings. I simply don’t have the eloquence that great man has. So thanks, Bill Belichick. You’ve set the bar impossibly high for all men in all relationships.

And now that I’ve thought about it for a while, this speech he gave McDaniels has a sort of familiar ring to it.