PORTLAND – A naked man doing push-ups in the street was killed early Sunday morning in North Portland, police said. A naked man was reportedly running in traffic near Portsmouth Avenue around 4 a.m., according to Pete Simpson of Portland police. While officers were driving to the scene, another caller reported the man was doing push-ups in the roadway. A third caller then said the man had been hit by a vehicle, Simpson said.
When officers arrived, they found the man was deceased. Investigators said the driver hit the man while driving west on Columbia Boulevard. The driver that hit the man was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and was cooperative with police, Simpson said. An autopsy and toxicology report was being conducted.
And this is exactly why I don’t work out anymore. Once you start working out it’s never enough. First you become a gym person and spend all your free time at your gym. Then that’s not enough so you work out on your own when your gym is closed. Start working out early morning and late at night. Then you get so jacked that you have to work out naked because your body is so fucking sweet and you want everyone to see it, then next thing you know you’re doing push ups in the middle of the road at 4 am and you get hit by a car and then you’re dead. Does that sound like fun to you? Because that is what happens to literally everyone I know who gets obsessed with working out, they get hit by a car at 4 am while doing naked pushups in the middle of the road. No thanks, I’d rather be fat.
Am I the only one that in their mind puts way too much weight on how much clothes can protect you? Like if I got hit by a car with clothes on I think I’d be ok, but naked I would be fucked. Same with bullets, you shoot me naked and I’m 100% going to die but if I have a sweatshirt and jeans on I give myself a 50/50 shot of surviving.