If Gronk Does Retire for Hollywood, His 911 Call Should Get Him Any Part He Wants

This audio is just so Gronk as fuck I can’t stand it. Calling the 911 emergency line to tell them it’s not an emergency. Identifying who he is but definitely not in that insufferable “Don’t you know who I am?” celebrity kind of way. Adding the totally unnecessary detail of where he just got back from without a trace of humblebrag. This is Gronk to a tee. Guileless. Without a trace of ego. A man of the people. The kind of guy that Hollywood needs more of, as reported by the Eagle-Tribune:

Patriots “All-World” tight end Rob Gronkowski is considering retirement to pursue a career in acting, according to a source.

Gronkowski, nicknamed “Gronk,” has been told by two Hollywood superstars Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Sylvester Stallone, that he could make millions of dollars in action films.

Gronkowski has told friends that the injuries have taken a toll on him.

It goes without saying that I hope Gronk decides to stay with the Patriots. But if he, Gordie Sr. and the rest of the family decide that being hunted by hunted by defensive backs week in and week out is no longer worth it, I hope he does take Hollywood by storm. There’s a term in show business, “Sizzle Reel,” that basically means your demo tape. And this 911 call is all the Sizzle he needs to get any part he wants. It’s got pathos. Comedic timing. Likeability. He’s like a young Tom Hanks. only much handsomer. Plus he can do romance:

Can do buddy comedies:

Broad physical comedy:

And has a bigger resume of action scenes over the last eight years than any leading man in Hollywood. I have a theory that the Rock is the single most popular human being on the planet Earth right now. When Gronk goes full time into show business, I have no doubt he’ll take that top spot. I just hope it’s not any time soon.