'Tom vs. Time: Ep 3' Dropped Today and Sweet Jesus These Just Get Better


WARNING: The following may contain references to the greatest athlete of your lifetime, his training methods, his private life and his genetically perfect family. If you’re a part-time WEEI host who finds adorable children to be annoying little pissants, viewer discretion is advised.

Earlier today Brady posted the third installment of Tom vs. Time. And whether you like Brady or are triggered by his success or his very existence, I can’t imagine why anyone with an even mild curiosity about athletes and what makes them function wouldn’t be watching these. Like I said after the first one, they’re like a video version of a Player’s Tribune article. A talented person giving a look inside his world you’re not going to get anywhere else. And it’s fascinating. In the last two installments we’ve seen:

–Brady working out with pitching/quarterback guru Tom House. Still working out minute little nuances in his throwing mechanics, right down to where he places his left, non-throwing elbow to maximize torque. Bear in mind that this is 21 years since he got to Michigan, and he’s still spending his summers trying to improve.

–A quote from House: “Old age and treachery always overcomes youth and exuberance.” I’ve got the slogan for my Barstool office coffee mug. If not the words I’ll have tattooed on my neck.

–Like the first episode when we got to see him all pissed off in the car after losing to the Chiefs on opening night, we again get him driving home after losing to the Panthers. Complaining that his team is playing like they think “We’re the Patriots. We can just throw our helmets on the field and win.” This was Week 4. He holds the all time record for career wins. And still can’t stomach a loss.

–We get to see Brady in his home office, studying game film and saying that he can easily sit down and break down plays for five hours without moving from his chair. And spend an entire Saturday and Sunday morning on film study, processing information. Like Netflix, Amazon Video and Pornhub never existed. He’s a better man than you or I.

–There’s lots of Brady, Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola working out at “Gladiator Camp” up at his place in Yellowstone. Running routes. Working out. Swearing at each other. With the GOAT admitting these guys have earned his trust to get the ball in big games. And this is over 4th of July. There’s your explanation of how Playoff Amendola is catching touchdowns against Jacksonville’s red zone quarters coverage in January. Because he’s out getting better with his quarterback on a summer weekend when I was pounding pint cans of craft beers in my pool and most NFL players are doing likewise.

–Of course there’s more Alex Guerrero stuff. Him holding resistance bands while Brady runs in helmet and pads on a beach. Guerrero and another TB12 Fitness guy busting Edelman’s balls over his refusal to give up lifting, although Guerrero insists he is not anti-weights. While Brady insists Edelman only lifts to look good for the ESPN Body Issue. Which probably has a grain of truth since he and Amendola go Shirtless O’Clock through every workout.

–And there’s more product placement. Him filling two blenders full of stuff that looks like malted milk balls (I’m sure it’s not) with the stuff from a racehorse’s feedbag and peanut butter. In the words of the great Ron Swanson, his food is the food my food eats.

–The thought I can’t shake watching this what a loss it is that we didn’t get to see similar stuff out of other great athletes. This would have been great if we got this much behind the scenes stuff out of Tiger Woods before he went nuts. Michael Jordan. Larry Bird, just to go back a million years. Like I said, you don’t have to like Tom Brady or even be able to stand him to love this docu-series. If you don’t, or if you refuse to watch, that’s your right as an American. But just admit that you have zero interest in sports and stop talking about it altogether.

–Finally, I said before you watch this and you’re convinced Brady will play til he’s 45 at least. I wouldn’t bet against him making it to 50.