Uber Driver Recording Drunk Eagles Fans Is What Makes The World Go Round

“Tom Brady can suck my left nut.” – Drunk Philly lady(?) in Uber

Drunken Uber rides. Not since the days of Socrates has more intelligent thought and conversation take place in one setting. Combine that with Super Bowl week in Philadelphia and we’ve got ourselves a cataclysm of hot takes. It doesn’t matter if they’re getting dropped off at the Philadelphia Museum of Art or the nearest greased pole. You’re gonna get eclectic, stimulating conversation on Nick Foles, Nick Foles’ dick, Nick Foles’ dick’s dick. The possibilities are limitless.

Honestly, one could expect a lot worse out of the drunken Philly faithful riding in Ubers the week before the Eagles play in the Super Bowl. Then again, the drunks who are really gonna give you that surefire footage are not definitely not responsible enough to take Ubers. You damn well know they’re driving their own way back to Barnaby’s in Havertown’s gravesite to pay their respects.

Regardless, Go Birds. Mass native and noted Patriots fan John Cena knows. Respect.