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YP NEEDS TO BACK OFF SMITTY, WE NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK HERE

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HEY YP BACK THE FUCK OFF!

Who is that little midwestern cheesedick to start stirring up controversy on the first day of Super Bowl week? I’m here blogging my hands to the bone, blood sweat and tears pouring out of every orifice in this life and next, and that rat fuck sugar tits is trying to say Smitty blatantly lied and tattle tailed to the CEO about him? This might work in other times, but not now. We’re at war here. This is the Battle of Stirling Bridge and we are William Wallace. It’s Eagles vs Everyone, Eagles vs Ourselves, and now Eagles vs YP. We can’t have people playing racquetball til 4:45 in the morning. This is do or die. Kill or be killed.

You might be thinking “Donovan, people arguing on Twitter about playing racquetball in Minnesota is the whitest thing I’ve ever heard”. You’re god damn absolutely right it is. Their argument is a bitcoin reference away from being legally considered a Klan rally. And us Eagles fans don’t need that on our resumes, we still haven’t recovered from the whole “throwing snowballs at Santa” thing, certainly don’t want to add “Smitty is a Grand Wizard” to that list.

So hey YP, pick up the camera, put down the racket, and zip your lips.