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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SST

MissouriA FEMALE teacher has been charged with having sex with a 13-year-old student and sending nude selfies to three boys.

Amanda Schweitzer, 38, had the charges brought against her after one of the boy’s parents came forward to complain.

She allegedly had sex with one boy on more than one occasion, exchanged nude images and is charged with using a minor to “produce child pornography”.

She has been charged with kidnapping, statutory rape and sodomy.

“She told him that he was hot and that she wanted him,” the detective wrote in a report of the case.

Police were initially called when a concerned mother alerted North Middle School that Ms Schweitzer had sent nude images of herself to her son and other boys – one involving a sex toy.

The boy came forward the day after having sex with Ms Schweitzer, and claimed she had even picked him up from a relative’s house when he was absent from school to have sex.

He told police that the pair had sex in her car by the river.

She touched him and performed a sex act on him followed by full sex, investigators were told.

I’m going to let the person who emailed to object to me grading Sex Scandal Teachers take it from here:

Jerry–
I just discovered your scorecard columns today.
It seems you get off making light of potentially pedophile teachers corrupting youths.
And it took me a beat to conjure how you’ve been able to pen these screeds without any condemnation for over a year?
What you’re publishing is craven.
Straight up abhorrent.
You’re kicking someone (who may be in serious trouble psychologically) while they’re down.
You actually think it’s okay to mock a teacher who may have ruined a kid’s life? Whose life is likely over and will force to have to get help so that that person doesn’t victimize another!
Who gave you wings to do this?
Barstool?
You think it’s fun to sexually lust after the perpetrator?
I am aghast at these.
How does Dave Portnoy allow this to go on unchecked?
There’s no comical bit here.
There’s no redeeming value that you bring.
The writing isn’t laden with typos is the best I can give you.
But I think what you’ve achieved is peddling some kind of petty, desperate tactics to the lowest common denominator.
Your work reeks of someone who has no empathy for the youths who have been afflicted. You’re exploiting them and getting off on this like some masturbatory ploy.
This kind of slop deserves no place but to be banished to the nether regions of chatrooms where anonymous tools, hiding behind their alpha alter egos and hyper-masculine handles, get a charge spewing X-Rated, Holy Mary ideologies.
Can you answer for yourself?
Because if the work speaks for itself you should head for the hills.
-M.L.

Thanks for reaching out to me, M.L. And for the nice words about my lack of typos. This one’s for you:

The Grades:
Looks: I feel like Amanda Schweitzer is one of those chicks who’s been told she has nice eyes and so every photo she posts of herself is in extreme close up to emphasize her eyes and de-emphasize the other features like her Bingo flap arms. Plus M.L. doesn’t want me or my lowest common denominator readers to sexually lust after the perpetrator. So I’m giving her a nice, neutral, non-sexual
Grade: C-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Ordinarily I’d give Amanda big points for sending dildo pics to three students, giving oral in a van down by the river, car sex and sodomy. But on the other hand, M.L. doesn’t like me to mock a teacher who may have ruined a kid’s life because there is no comic bit or redeeming value that I bring. But what the hell.
Grade: A

Intangibles: Craven. Abhorrent. Petty. Desperate. But at least my proof reading masses muster. I bet M.L. is a blast at parties. Thanks to all you Lowest Common Denominators who tell me to keep these GtNSSTs coming, sending them in and not telling me to head for the hills.
Grade: B+

Overall: C+

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.