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Do Not Let This Face Fool You, Coley's Dog Chino Is Both A Danger And A Menace To Society

Let me preface this by saying that I’m a huge dog guy. I grew up around dogs, I  had a dog-sitting business as a kid. I even had my own dog, Stella, that I loved more than anything. Unfortunately, Stella died ten years ago (#RIPIP) which left a huge hole in my heart. However, it wasn’t until recently that I started to want another dog. So yesterday when Coley asked me to watch Chino, I jumped at the opportunity. I know how to handle dogs, I told myself- how difficult could watching this little ten-pound bundle of joy possibly be? Well let me tell you, it was a nightmare.

The second Coley left he started to take advantage. First, he sprinted full speed into his water dish for no reason whatsoever. After that, he spent the next forty minutes sitting at the end of his leash creating just enough tension to annoy me while simultaneously trying to chew through it.

Then, despite multiple belly rubs, he spent about thirty-minutes making noise. Growls, whimpers, whines, barks. It was so obnoxious that Nate started giving me the same look he gives Smitty when he says he works hard. I thought maybe he had to take a poo, so I took him for a walk. Turns out he just wanted to socialize with everyone but me.

The actual poop came after we got inside and it smelled HORRENDOUS. Like, eyes watering dry-heaving in the trash horrendous. Credit to Francis for calling it right before it happened.

No credit to him for fleeing the scene of the crime.

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Also, no credit to Tex who said he would, “knock the shit out of that fucker” after Chino gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Nothing I did to this dog would calm him down. It was the single best deterrent for me getting a dog of my own. A blessing in disguise. If I hadn’t have watched Chino yesterday, I would’ve gotten a dog today, and been subsequently arrested for dog murder tomorrow. At any rate, I love you Chino, but from here on out I’ll be admiring you from the safety of my computer screen.

PS: Worth the follow.

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