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The Lights Going Out As Pat Shurmur Started His Introductory Press Conference As Giants Head Coach Is A Very Bad Omen

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I have been talking myself into Pat Shurmur for a couple of weeks now once it started to become clear he was likely going to become the next Giants head coach. From trying to believe that the Minnesota Miracle was more of the perfect play call than an absolute fuck up by Marcus Williams and saying nicknames like The Shurmurnator enough time to love the guy.

But this happening right as Shurmur started talking about how it’s an honor and a privilege to be the head coach of the New York Giants terrifies me. All a new coach has to do in an introductory press conference is not fuck up. Don’t give the media any controversial quotes, don’t piss off the fans, and don’t look like you are a 12-year-old that aged 30 years overnight and dressed himself in a suit for the first time while also cutting his own hair.

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To his credit, Shurmur did all those things right. But the one thing that wasn’t in his hands was the supernatural. The paranormal. You obviously can’t blame him for the timing of those lights going out. But if the Shurmur hire blows up in the Giants face, we will all look back at this press conference and wonder how we didn’t see it coming. I’m a juju guy and the lights going out is about as bad a juju as you can get during a press conference, unless you hear a bell toll a few times, The Undertaker’s theme music starts playing, and he tombstones your coach before stuffing him into a casket.

I don’t know if the ghost of Wellington Mara wanted to make his thoughts of the hire known, the Football Gods wanted to let the Giants know they aren’t done fucking with them yet, or some A/V intern simply fucked up and will be getting his fired once everyone leaves the room. But the fact remains that I was nervous enough about Pat Shurmur before today’s press conference started and everything going to black did nothing to ease those concerns.