Advertisement

Fans Threw Snowballs At A Rival Skier During The Slalom World Cup And May Have Mistakenly Invented A New Sport While Saving The Winter Olympics

Reuters- Local favourite Marcel Hirscher edged out Norwegian Henrik Kristoffersen at the World Cup slalom in Schladming on Tuesday after his great rival had snowballs thrown at him.

Replays showed that at least two snowballs were thrown at Kristoffersen during his second run, one appearing to hit him. The Norwegian, who did not appear to lose time, gesticulated angrily at the finish line before watching Hirscher, who already had a lead of 0.20 seconds from the first run, charge down to win by 0.39 seconds. Kristoffersen told Hirscher what had happened as the pair shook hands and the Austrian, looking surprised, replied, “Oh really?, I‘m sorry.”

“It’s really a lack of respect… a race in Schladming is like a home race for me so it’s not cool,” Kristoffersen told Austrian broadcaster ORF.

I am sure many people will see this video and be disgusted. Puke their guts out. The lack of sportsmanship is flat out appalling and goes against everything that slalom stands for. Granted, I have have said the same things if those snowballs were batteries and that skier was a Viking during Sunday’s NFC Championship.

But the fact of the matter is, this isn’t football. It is slalom. That video is the best thing that could happen to the sport. Now at least a few people are talking about skiing. The Winter Olympics are around the corner and nobody seems to care about them. You know why? Well for one, because South Korea is awesome at preparation. Usually by now we’ve heard a ton of horror stories about how bad the people in the host country are treated or how woefully unprepared the hotels and stadiums are. Videos of rooms with no walls or doors or toilets.

But the real reason nobody cares is because the Winter Olympics stink. You have a few events that get the needle moving, but for the most part they are trash. This is especially the case in 2018 since there are no NHL players heading to the games. Even this snowball nonsense is weak. Whatever happened to hiring someone to bash in your rival’s knee in with a lead pipe in order to get ahead? The only thing I am looking forward to is Donnie doing Donnie things and making hilarious videos, a little bit of the bobsled, and if a bad score given to the North Koreans sets off a nuclear missile. But other than that, nothing. Every ski race looks the same. Every skating race looks the same. 1000 heats of the bobsled and luge water down its appeal. And again, there are no NHL players. What else is even in the Winter Olympics?

*Turns on The Rock voice*

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT ELSE IS EVEN IN THE WINTER OLYMPICS!

If you had racing events where fans could throw snowballs at the athletes, I would watch them. Each participant country in the event gets three snowball throwers, who obviously have to make the snowballs themselves, and we see what happens. Now the the slalom, the alpine downhill (whatever the fuck that is), and all different kinds of speed skating become interesting to watch. And the snowball throwers are the ultimate X-Factor. Since Spring Training is just getting started during the Olympics, MLB players are probably out. But retired players like Jeff Francoeur and his laser, rocket arm suddenly become relevant athletes again. Philadelphians would go from the black sheep of American sports fans to experienced amateurs with the potential to become national heroes. And the Olympics would become Must See TV.

Do the right thing in 2022, IOC. Or keep the sports the same while accepting bribes and become richer than I could ever imagine. Your choice I guess.

P.S. I will say this about the Olympics. Seeing a European athlete get this sassy after a run was actually kind of magical.