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No Self-Respecting Giants Fan Can Root For The Eagles In The Super Bowl

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Well there it is. The matchup New York dreaded. The Giants biggest rival and the Patriots biggest rival facing off in The Big Game (just getting you guys ready for the NFL becoming the KGB again and suing anyone who says Super Bowl). New York is split down the middle on who to root for. Jets fans obviously don’t want to see Bill Belichick and Tom Brady putting rings on a whole new hand. Giants fans want to continue to hold the whole “No Super Bowl Championships” thing over Eagles fans heads for the rest of time. Only the biggest scumbag New Yorker on the planet would have been happy for both teams last night.

At least I thought that was the case. But when the Eagles game appeared over, which seemed to happen about mid-way through the 2nd quarter, I started seeing Giants fans on Twitter wonder who they were rooting for. And not just one or two. But a good amount of Giants fans. And I was saddened. Offended. Flabbergasted and stupefied*.
*If you didn’t already do so, please read that sentence in Stephen A. Smith’s voice. Thank you.

I truly don’t understand why Giants fans hate the Patriots. They are not a rival. They had some great games against each other in both the regular season and the postseason. But that’s it. The Giants are 2-0 against the Pats in the Super Bowl. Every Patriots title makes those Giants teams look better. Every time a QB can’t pull out a last minute scoring drive against Bill Belichick’s big brain in the playoffs, it makes Eli Manning and his 2 grapefruit-sized testicles look better. I understand there are a lot of Giants fans that are also Yankees fans and all things Boston are evil to them. But if you are a big enough Giants fan, the rivalry with the Eagles trumps all baseball rivalries when it comes to the Super Bowl. And for those Yankees fans that say they can’t stand Patriots fans or certain Patriots fans at Barstool for always talking about how successful their team is, let me show you a Yankees fan and Patriots fan arguing about how annoying other teams fans are.

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Again, the rivalry with the Eagles should take precedent over everything else. Any season that doesn’t end with a Giants championship could be better. But any season that doesn’t end with an Eagles, Cowboys, or Redskins Super Bowl could be worse. To be honest, I bet Patriots fans will have trouble remembering this championship compared to some of the others. The first title was a birth of a dynasty. The title won against the Seahawks was maybe the greatest finish ever and a fuck you to Goodell for Deflategate. And last year’s title was the greatest comeback ever and a GIGANTIC FUCK YOU to Goodell and the NFL for the Brady suspension. I would imagine this title would be lumped with the victories over the Panthers and Eagles that takes a little bit extra brainpower to remember, like the Bucs beating the Raiders in that one Super Bowl.

But a Super Bowl title would validate the Eagles franchise. It would take a gorilla the size of King Kong off of Eagles fans backs and give them a true reason to have some swagger. And if you root for the Eagles, you are joining forces with Eagles fans. The same savages that did all this in the past.

As well as this yesterday.

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Then to make matters worse, we even have our future head coach doing this after his offense SKOLfucked by the Eagles defense after that first drive.

John Mara better be doing this with Shurmur’s contract proposal after seeing that clip as well as yesterday’s game.

And in case you are a Giants fan that for some crazy reason you need more convincing to root for the Patriots, here is a video of Bill Belichick at Giants Stadium from a handful of years ago.

That man loves the Giants and I’m not afraid to admit that I love that man. If George Young loved him as well, maybe the Giants are going for a 20-peat in two weeks. The world will never know. But in the meantime, any Giants fan worth his or her salt should hope that Bill Belichick collects another ring and has to rename his boat yet again. The city is already divided since Jets and Giants fans share it with each other. But Giants fans should all come together and root for the same cause after we all endured this season from hell together.

Or we can just hope that a meteor crashes to Earth during the Super Bowl and ends human life as we know it.

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SHIT!

P.S. Will somebody pleeeeease send this tweet to Tom Brady so he has two weeks to stew about it?