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Win Or Lose: Pray For The People Of Philadelphia Today

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Win or lose, most of the city of Philadelphia is set to be on fire roughly six minutes after the final whistle blows in today’s NFC Championship game. You almost wish they had just lost to the Falcons in the first place like they had expected the second Carson Wentz tore his ACL. There would’ve been no riots, no fires, no poles to grease, no men of the cloth rocking dog masks during Sunday Service, none of it. Now there are expectations at play. They’ve allowed their hopes to get up. The city has become cauterized by this underdog narrative. If they lose to the Vikings the Philadelphia news may end up looking like the last scene of “V For Vendetta” just with dog masks, somehow twice as much anarchy, and significantly more fire.

I love that Philadelphia is self-aware enough to know what dangers loom on the horizon, but none of these preventative measures will matter once the shit hits the fan. Look at this poor bastard greasing up this pole. He knows damn well that shit’s not gonna work.

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And please, if you’re a Vikings fan who made this trip East, leave your jersey in the hotel. Maybe leave after the third quarter, get back to your room before it’s too late, buy some wooden planks and nails and barricade yourselves inside for a few days and wait for the dust to settle.