Olympic Update: North and South Korea to March Under Same Flag and Field a Joint Women's Ice Hockey Team



North and South Korea have agreed to march together under a single “unified Korea” flag at next month’s Winter Olympics in the South.

They also agreed to field a joint women’s ice hockey team in rare talks at the truce village of Panmunjom. These are the first high-level talks between the countries in more than two years. It marks a thaw in relations that began in the new year when North Korea offered to send a team to the games.

If the plans are realised, a hundreds-strong North Korean delegation – including 230 cheerleaders, 140 orchestral musicians and 30 taekwondo athletes – could cross into the South via the land border to attend the Winter Olympics.

It will mean the opening of the cross border road for the first time in almost two years.

South Korea’s hockey coach and conservative newspapers have expressed concern about the prospect of a united hockey team, saying it could damage South Korea’s chances of winning a medal.

Wowzers! Have only officially been the Olympic correspondent for a day and I’m already dropping two blogs in one day. Slow down Don! You’re going to be burnt out before the first biathalon! (Note: Biathalon is the sport that combines cross country skiing with shooting guns).


Anyways, I’m assuming marching together under a single  flag was just one of Kim Jong’s demands to avoid North Korea appearing unathletic when their olympic procession consisted of just two figure skaters but hey, if it’s a step towards those two countries not nuking each other I’m all for it. On the other hand, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be the women’s Ice hockey coach.

“South Korea’s hockey coach and conservative newspapers have expressed concern about the prospect of a united hockey team, saying it could damage South Korea’s chances of winning a medal.”

Uhhhhhh ya think. North Koreans are on average three inches shorter than South Koreans for the sole reason their leader spends his time building nukes and overdosing on cheese rather than making sure his people have enough to eat. Not exactly the type of folks you want to be going into battle with. Not exactly the type of folks you want to be going into battle against though either for the same reason.  However, as Jordie already pointed out, if this unified team wins even a single game it’s going to make for an incredible Disney movie one day. A mash up of Mighty Ducks, Remember The Titans, and Miracle, with an unhinged nuclear armed dictator thrown in the mix.  Looks like we already know which character will steal the show if this movie ever gets made too. A North Korean defender by the name of Won Chol-Sun.


“Among the greatest unknown is who from the North will be joining their team.

Sarah Murray, the Canadian-born coach of the South Korean team, fielded those questions as she arrived in South Korea on Tuesday, facing a horde of reporters with a sudden, elevated interest in women’s hockey and North Korean players.

She mentioned a defender, whom she remembered as being a workhorse during the April game (it was Won Chol-sun, but she only knew her number).

“When we played against them, she was blocking shots with her face,” Murray told reporters. “She’s very intense.” (NY TIMES)

I can already picture the scene in the movie where Won Chol-Sun gets introduced…

(Scene: First joint practice)

Head Coach Sarah Murray: (look of complete shock mixed with excitement on her face) “Who the HELL is that chick?!?”

North Korean Liaison: (smile slowly creeping on her face) “Oh, well that’s Won Chol-Sun, can’t skate for shit and has never been too graceful with a stick, parents could never afford to buy her one, but MY GOD does that lady have SPUNK!  I’ve seen her shut down entire offenses with just her face.”

Sarah Murray: (nodding her head enthusiastically) “She’s on the roster. If our team can play with half the grit she has this gold medal is in the bag…”

North Korean Liaison: “Ok but I’m warning ya, she’s got a short fuse and will be quick to chuck knucks if she feels any of those silver spoon south koreans aren’t leaving it all on the ice.”

Sarah Murray: (chuckles)  “Leave the character issues to me, You just make sure that chubby cunt Jim Kong doesn’t barge into anymore of my practices  threatening to throw me in a labor camp if this team embarrasses itself next month. How the hell am I supposed to get this team game ready with his emmental cheese and Hennesy smelling ass around.”

North Korean Liaison: (blood drains from her face) “You think this is a fucking joke Sarah?? Kim Jong will literally throw me in a  labor camp if we don’t at least get a bronze medal. We can’t all just saunter off back to Canada after the Olympics  you privledged c*nt!” (storms out of practice)

(End of Scene)

 Whether imaginary or not, this team should lead to some solid content.