So I was headed to the salt mines this morning. Minding my own business when I heard a loud splatter behind me. It sounded like a stream of spit hitting the ground but it was more frothy. It sounded like what you hear when you’re in the shower and the soapy water falls from your body and hits the shower floor and heads off to the drain. I turned around and saw a giant stream of what looked to be toothpaste spit. And sure enough! There was a young man openly bushing his teeth on the subway platform. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. I was stunned.
So the question begs, is brushing your teeth on the subway platform fair or foul?
The case for Foul
Well it’s gross. There is an endless amount of fecal matter in the air on the subway platform. It’s far and away the grossest place in the world. Certainly not a place where you want to be brushing your teeth. But the thing that bothers me most is he isn’t homeless. Homeless people get a pass for their behavior. They’re homeless. Everything is their home and therefore are allowed to piss and shit and masturbate and brush their teeth wherever they want (homeless people don’t brush their teeth but you get the point). That man in the video is clearly an employed adult with a home. He’s got the one strap bag, the beanie, the boots. He has a bathroom in a Williamsburg apartment that he pays too much for. He shows zero signs of being a man without a home. Yet there he is. Brushing his teeth in public like a hobo. Again, it’s definitely gross and all that, but that’s the part I don’t get.
The case for Fair
This is New York City. Everything you see is a toilet. Do whatever you want. Keep your head down and keep it moving.
PS- You can see the guy spotted me and I stayed in the pocket. That’s the blogger difference.