The Fake News Media Is Trying To Tell Me This High School Sophomore Basketball Recruit Is Younger Than 47 Years Old

While all the attention was on the NFL this weekend and eyeballs were glued to Stefon Diggs who is still somewhere on a Minnesota sideline posing and mean mugging…some high school hoops recruiting news snuck under the radar.  We’ve got a phenom in the making down in Charlotte who is already drawing the attention of some high profile programs.  Standing at 6’8,” he’s only a sophomore, but with a game evolved far beyond his years.

How many years is that exactly?

No less than 47.

47 years old, minimum.

Cheick Traore has a wife and son who is currently applying to colleges and a daughter who is causing trouble at home now that she has her first boyfriend and is spending way too much time on her phone using up all the data on the family plan.  Cheick is stressed about the mortgage but is encouraged by the upswing in Trump’s economy and plans to use a chunk of his tax refunds on staining the porch. His cholesterol is high but he’s managing it by cutting red meat from his diet and switching his lunch time deli sandwiches out for salads.  He puts an aggressive amount of his paychecks into his 401K leaving him slightly strapped for cash each month but he sleeps well at night knowing his family’s financial future is secure should anything happen to him (not that they would need to worry, his life insurance policy is one of the best available on the market).  His ETF is making slow but steady returns and his portfolio is up 12% in just the past two years which takes some of the stress out of his gradually encroaching retirement.

You can’t tell me otherwise. You can’t tell me this grown ass man is a fucking 16 year old kid, no sir.

I think it’s safe to say we can add Cheick to the list of greats.