You Do Not Shove Joel Embiid At A Tailgate Unless You Want To Get Put Down For The Big Sleep

Joel Embiid is never afraid to mix it up with the beautiful people of Philadelphia despite being really, really, ridiculously easy to pick out of a crowd. In the summer, he’s always out at SIPS on Wednesday nights. He makes it to plenty of Eagles games during the season and on Saturday, he figured he’d take in some of the tailgate scene before the game. He’s a man of the people. He knows it’s probably in his best interest to stay away from the public while he’s such a high profile figure in the city. But that’s not his style. All he asks in return is for everybody to treat him with a little bit of respect and don’t be a total jabroni when he comes around. Like this Johnny Jerkoff right here.

Buddy. Do you have any idea how fragile Joel Embiid is? The last thing we need right now is for him to miss the rest of the season because some drunk asshole at the Eagles tailgate broke his foot. If that happens and JoJo doesn’t kill you right there on the spot, you’ve got about a million angry South Philadelphians who will be ready to put you in the dirt before you can even get your ass into Xfinity Live for cover. And don’t even think about hightailing it out of there on the subway unless you want to be taking a nap on the tracks.

Rule #1 to follow when you come across Joel Embiid in the wild–keep your filthy hands off of Joel Embiid. That’s pretty much it. Everybody will have themselves a great time as long as you follow that one simple rule. You break the rule and you die. Simple as that.

h/t Jim