A Guy Caused $11,000 Worth Of Damages To His Apartment Trying To Kill A Spider

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WMUR- A California man’s attempt to kill a large spider inside his apartment didn’t go exactly as planned. The Redding Record Searchlight reports the unidentified male resident saw a wolf spider and tried to kill the arachnid with a torch lighter. He ended up hitting the spider, who dashed onto a mattress, catching the furniture on fire. Fire officials say the blaze spread from the mattress to a collection of flags and curtains inside the bedroom. It also spread into a bedroom closet, but did not affect any of the other apartments in the complex. Firefighters were able to extinguish the blaze, but not before it caused $11,000 in damages. Now, the residents inside that apartment are forced to find another place to go. The apartment where the fire started is considered uninhabitable by fire officials.

Hard agree. Just like literally everyone else in the world, I am terrified of spiders. I’m scared of spiders like people pretend to be scared clowns. No one is actually afraid clowns. They say they are because everyone else says they are. You’re not a child anymore. You’re not actually scared of a man with paint on his face. Shut up. Stop it. Spiders though? Spiders are some of the scariest things ever put into existence. Look at a picture of a spider. Those fuckers were created to terrify. I mean eight legs and a billion eyes? Come on. Why? Why was any of that necessary? I’ll tell you why. It was so you’d poop your drawers any time one ventured into your living space. I don’t blame this fella one bit for pulling out a blow torch and going nuts.

You know what there needs to be? Spider insurance. That’s insurance you have for when you go crazy trying to kill a spider and destroy your apartment like this guy did.  His insurance company should now pay him $11,000 for his troubles. It’s no different than flood insurance. Spiders don’t waltz into your apartment every day (or at least I hope not). But when they do, you should feel comfortable tearing the place apart to kill said spider. Otherwise you might miss and then sleep is impossible. Spider insurance allows you to kill the spider by any means necessary so you can sleep soundly.