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Fuck Anderson Cooper For Wearing $3,000 Special Heated Clothes On NYE

Page Six - To survive a frigid New Year’s Eve in New York City, Anderson Cooper dug deep into his wallet.

During an appearance Tuesday on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” the CNN anchor revealed he shelled out close to $3,000 on electric clothing to stay warm in the below-freezing temperatures of the Big Apple.

Cooper contacted the Philadelphia-based Warming Store, which specializes in heating apparel, to outfit him.

“I spent $2,900 buying electric clothing,” Cooper explained. “I didn’t know that they had electrically heated clothing now. There’s a battery pack on your socks, a battery back on your vest, on your long underwear, on your hat, on your gloves, and they sold me the Ferrari of warming gloves.

Boo you, Anderson Cooper you fucking asshole. $3,000 heated clothes, are you kidding me? Back in my day, we didn’t even have clothes. That’s right, we walked to school, naked, uphill both ways, in 3 feet of snow just to get an education. And now Anderson Cooper thinks he can galavant around in $3,000 electric clothes, wired up from head to toe like the unabomber, and laugh about it? Fuck outta here with that. That’s the most anti-common man thing this side of owning (half) a house on Nantucket.

The rest of us, the good, hardworking, honest citizen of this great nation, we put on layers- we put on the long underwear our mothers gave us for Christmas that one time 4 year ago, we put on a shirt, a long-sleeve shirt, a sweater, a vest, a sweater vest, and a jacket, and then sweat profusely while simultaneously shivering at the same time. Literally the worst feeling in the world, when you are sweating from the layers but it’s so cold out you’re shivering too, so your body just has no idea what to do with itself. But that’s how you develop character. That’s how you become tough. Not through gizmos and gadgets and state of the art technology. Our ancestors didn’t have that. Our founding fathers didn’t cross the Delaware and then stop to plug in their shirts and coats. George Washington didn’t need to plug in his shoes, and so neither do I. Boo you, Anderson Cooper. Boo you.

PS: Even if I could afford $3,000 heated clothing, I would have no need for it because if I could afford that shit, I would never be standing outside in 0 degree weather. No need to heated coats in the Maldives.