This Lady's Reaction To Winning ELEVEN DOLLARS On HQ Trivia Is Exactly Why I Hate People Who Play HQ Trivia

FUCKKKKKKK this game. Don’t get me wrong, if I was one of the people who first got on the bandwagon then I’d probably act like it’s the 21st century’s Old Testament and preach this shit like it’s gospel, but I wasn’t so now I hate it. Everywhere you go you’ve got maniacs freaking out about this, get on the train at 3 o’clock and you can hear that dickhead Scott’s stupid voice and lame jokes and shouting out “HQties.” It’s beyond painful. I’ve heard people yell out begging for answers at the bodega, as if they don’t understand how ridiculous they sound asking strangers what kind of cheese you can’t have in a blintz.

If this was for the fucking mega millions I’d totally understand it, obviously. But it’s not. It’s for ELEVEN DOLLARS. Are you nuts? Are you outside of your goddamn mind? You’re getting overly excited to play a trivia game for like thirty minutes and if you answer everything perfectly your reward is a bag of beef jerky? Get all the way out of town.

I’m not a rich man by any stretch of the imagination, in fact if we’re talking about the spectrum then I’m closer to a poor man, but I’m not doing anything for eleven dollars. Fuck the standard “I don’t get out of bed for x amount of dollars” line, I won’t breathe for eleven bucks. Come over to my desk and you say “hey if you keep inhaling and exhaling then I’ll give you a Hamilton, a Washington, and a fistful of change” then I will suffocate myself and die just to prove a point. That point? I can’t be bought for such a disgustingly low amount of American currency.

Catch me writing around and screaming about eleven bucks? No sir, not in this economy. We’re on the comeback, ask Trump, and we do not get excited about that number here in America. Not for any reason.