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High School Girl Becomes The First Lady To Boot A FG In The Texas State Championship Game And WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?

First off, good for Lani Nava and kicking directly through that glass ceiling #ForTheBrand. Why can’t there be female kickers who boot for success on the gridiron? That seems to be the way the wind is blowing these days. After all, we have female singers and female motorists. Wait a second…they move the goalposts in for female kickers? Why is the conversion kick worth 2-points? WHY ARE THERE ONLY 12 PEOPLE ON THE FIELD IN A TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME??????


Naturally, my feeble mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on here. Thankfully, many helpful Twitter folk helped me compute. Apparently they play 6 or 8-man-people football for high schools that have fewer students and couldn’t field a full 11 on both sides of the ball (schools with 104 people or less). Personally I assumed Texas high schools were a lot like a mandatory conscription country (s/o Denmark) where, if physically capable, they forced you to serve on the football field. Attempt to talk to Tex one time and you’ll discover that A) You’re apparently a pussy and B) Texas football is the lifeblood of humanity. If TV and movies have thought me anything it’s one’s honor, no, duty as a Texan to strap on the helmet. That or be willing to face the wrath of an overbearing father living in his glory days and FIRE THAT FUCKING PIGSKIN.

Maybe I suppose the 6-team football explains the shortened field. Still not sure how the 2-point conversion kick comes into play. Or the fact this game provided more exciting football than any other team at Jerry World this year. Suck it, Dallas.

PS – When he’s done with his work in Philly, maybe bring back Coach Taylor to revolutionize the 6 on 6 game in Texas. Or just bring the man back in general. A life without Coach Taylor is proving to be a life not worthwhile.