Jimmy G Mic'd Up Leading the Game-Winning Drive is Football Porn

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Holy moly, did it ever move for me just now. You watch Jimmy Garoppolo lead a drive like this, coach up his players, seek out his coaches for extra coaching, and demonstrate that preternatural calm that only the truly great ones possess, and it’s hard to believe he’s only got 50 career starts. Wait. Five career starts. My bad. But you can understand my confusion because these are the words and actions of a seasoned veteran.

And is it me, or does Jimmy GQ have the total self-awareness to grasp how hot he is? Every word out of his mouth just drips with erotic double-entendres:

“They can’t handle your quickness. They’re trying to grab you. Just hit them off you and you’ll be fine.”

“Slip him. And look as you’re like slipping him, cuz I’ll bang it on you because he has to turn his hips.”

“I’ll bend you across a little bit. If he’s playing on top of you though, you can do one of these and and then go. Just feel it out.”

Jesus H. … If they mic him up again this season I’m going to have to put down old towels and keep the wet vac handy. I mean, what doesn’t he have? Looks. Leadership. Poise. The ability to read defenses, move in the pocket and make all the throws. Plus the looks, if I didn’t mention that already. We are witnessing more than the first baby steps of the next great quarterback. We are watching a man who will be the highest paid football player in the land in a few months. A QB who’ll take the Niners to the playoffs next year. Single-handedly win John Lynch the Executive of the Year in 2018. And America’s next great sex symbol. You heard it here first. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll need a few minutes of refractory time so I can watch this again.

@jerrythornton1