NASA Is Down To These 2 Finalists For The Next Billion-Dollar, Sweet Ass Space Mission

Business InsiderNASA just announced two finalists for its next billion-dollar robotic mission to explore mysterious corners of our solar system.

The picks for the mission, called New Frontiers-4, were chosen from a class of 12 proposals. The final winner will be chosen in 2019, NASA said.

One of the finalists, named ‘Dragonfly,’ is a lander that would head to Saturn’s moon Titan. The other, nicknamed CAESAR (which stands for Comet Astrobiology Exploration SAmple Return), would go to the Churyumov–Gerasimenko comet and collect samples.

Each team now has roughly one year to finalize their concept before NASA makes its ultimate decision.

Wait we’re either gonna go to the Saturn moon Titan which has oceans and rivers full of methane and shit or we’re gonna go pick up dust from a fucking comet? What? Listen here NASA. If you clowns put this $1 billion towards some comet dust bullshit I am officially OUT on NASA. I’ve been hanging on by a thread for a while now but this would be the final straw. I’ll hitch my wagon to that psycho Musk if I have to. In what solar system do you choose comet dust over this sweet Dragonfly mission that no hyperbole sounds like the coolest fucking mission there’s ever been:

Dragonfly is a dual-quadcopter lander built and tested at Johns Hopkins University’s Applied Physics Laboratory. It would take advantage of the thick atmosphere of Saturn’s largest moon to fly to a variety of locations, some hundreds of miles apart.

“Titan is a unique ocean world,” Elizabeth Turtle, a planetary scientist leading the Dragonfly mission proposal, said during a NASA teleconference on Wednesday. “It has lakes and seas of liquid and methane, and rivers that flow across the surface.”

Did they say dual quadcopters buzzing all over Titan? Uhhhhh yes please. I think I got hard reading that.

Versus this comet dust CAESAR turd with the lamest plan ever:

The other option, Caesar, would fly back to a comet that the European Space Agency explored in 2004 with its Rosetta mission.

The Caesar probe would grab a sample from the nucleus of Churyumov-Gerasimenko in hopes of learning about how those materials contributed to the early Earth, including its oceans and life.

Sloppy seconds from the Euro trash space program? Get the fuck outta here. The choice is Dragonfly and it’s not even close. We comin’ for that ass Titan, see you in 2034. Any other choice and NASA can suck it.