Derek Jeter Holds Wild Town Hall Meeting With Fans, Marlins Man Gives Speech About Not Renewing His Season Tickets, Marlins Fans Chirp Jeter And Literally Cry

Miami Marlins Press Conference

What a fucking shitshow! I don’t know how the hell we don’t have any video of this yet, but there is a bizarre scene unfolding right now in Miami. I almost don’t even want the video, because my imagination is just wandering wild here and it is probably way more chaotic in my mind than it actually is at this town hall meeting for fans. Either way, holy shit!

These Marlins fans are RELENTLESS! I love it! I fucking love the passion of these Marlins fans who are not only sick and tired of their teams being dismantled every few years, but probably also sick and tired of having to hear about how Marlins fans don’t even exist. We’re right here, motherfucker! Can you hear us now!

So many things to highlight here — you’ve got this old guy saying hurry up and build a winner before I fuckin’ croak, Marlins Man threatening to give up his season tickets, Jeter getting told to his face that Jeffrey Loria was better than him and he STUNK, fans yelling at him for not answering an email that wasn’t even sent to him, fans yelling for Marlins broadcasters Rich Waltz and Tommy Hutton, Jeter getting chirped for trading all the power hitters who could’ve possibly hit a ball up by the Budweiser bar in left-center, fans saying he ran out of money, and fans quite literally bursting into tears over the state of this Marlins team. What a wild scene, my friends.

I can assure you of this — Derek Jeter has never been roasted like this in his entire life. From day one, he’s always been the golden boy. Not that he’s ever been handed anything — he’s worked his ass off to get to where he’s at — but he’s never taken heat like the heat he’s taken since he bought the Marlins. I mean, Marlins Man is going to give up his season tickets over this?! I can’t even imagine what kind of pressure Jeter and Mike Hill must be under right now. Chaos.