Mckayla Maroney Just Got Put On Double Secret Probation

Bring me the minx on the right. She deserves to live rent free in my basement. For the good of America.

As for Mckayla, I don’t care if you’re 12 or whatever and are still learning how the world works. You do NOT put yourself in a photo where A) You’re not the best looking person by far and settle for looking almost the same as a couple average peasants to your left and right and 2) You look like you can spontaneously combust from the sunlight in any second. Casper The Friendly ghost has a better base than that, girlfriend.