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Company Creates Insoles That Add 2 Inches To Men's Height, Ending Women's Reign Over The Elevated Shoe Game

For too long, women have monopolized the height-improving shoe game. It’s acceptable for women to wear 6-inch heels but men are scoffed at for surreptitiously adding an inch or two with a nice pair of boots? Shorter men, standing on their tippy toes in pictures, are derided by the very women posing beside them in outrageous stilettos and somehow that’s fair? I don’t claim to be a man for the short man–lord knows life has been good to me at 6’3”. But I do know that genetic disadvantages like shortness, balding, and overpowering testicle stench deserve all the solutions we can invent. The same goes for whatever difficulties women face.

These insole lifts are great. Women already made those funky heel-sneakers:

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In the interest of equality, I say it’s perfectly fine that men are doing the same thing. And let’s take it one step further. Let’s create condoms that are stuffed at the end with cork or cement. Your dick fills up the bottom half and then somehow you could splint a couple additional inches of the tip to reach the deeper recesses of the cave. For every appendage for which a size deficiency can result in humiliation, there should be a prosthetic solution. Restaurants have booster seats or phone books for little kids who need a few extra inches to eat their spaghetti. As far as I know, men are the only demographic currently excluded from the “boosting” community. Let’s make the world fair.